Ultimate Comics Spider-Woman
by Jonny Q
Summary: Jessica Drew is dealing with loneliness and depression and decides to reconnect with Peter Parker's family and friends.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello People this is hopefully the first in an ongoing series of short stories featuring Ultimate Spider-Woman. I feel that Marvel isn't really taking advantage of a very interesting character and I decided to use this format to try to tell the best story that I could. The writing isn't perfect at all but I hope it's readable. I wrote this as is Jessica Drew was writing it in a journal so hopefully that won't be too much of a bother to my readers. Now this is a bit slow but other stories will be faster. I don't know when the next one will be but hopefully soon. I hope you guys enjoy the story. **_

1

_[ENTRY 1]_

I don't know how to begin this... Really I don't. I could write about how screwed up my life is, how I wounder every second of everyday if I'm dreaming. I could write about how I have the memories of Peter Parker, his thoughts and feelings, his hopes and dreams, and how I am just a clone created from his DNA. Oh and I could also write about how I am a woman cloned from a male's DNA.

Yeah but I don't want to write about that.

Currently I am sitting in my room on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier writing this on my lap top, though I kinda wish that S.H.I E.L.D would have provided me with an Ipad instead (Angry Birds is very addicting). I have been ordered to by a S.H.I.E.L.D psychiatrist to start up a journal in order to help me clear my thoughts. Nick Fury has been worried that I am falling into a very deep depression, he tells me that I need to get out more instead of just staying in my room all day. But I do get out (on missions at least) and I am not falling into a depression. I am fine.

Though there are days where I begin to miss my... Peter's old life. I miss Aunt May, I miss my school, I miss Gwen, and I really miss... M.J.

M.J. I find myself thinking about her a lot, her long red hair, her smooth pale complexion, her green eyes, and her unconditional love for Peter. I know she has been through a lot since he died. Everyday I feel insane amounts of guilt for not being there to help him fight Norman Osborn and his Sinister Six. I can't help but wonder if I had been there would Peter had lived? Could this have all been prevented if I had decided to be in New York instead of going on some stupid mission?

And now some stupid 13 year old kid decided to take up his mantel and fight as Spider-man. God Miles is in way over his head.I almost feel responsible for him. I don't want to hear that he died while fighting super villains. If only he knew why I try to push him away from this lifestyle, if only he knew how good it is just to be normal, and to live a life where his biggest worry is his family and not the entire world.

Enough about Miles.

I am looking at myself in my bedroom mirror, my light brown hair is getting long, it's almost long enough to touch my thighs, this could be very dangerous, I probably should put it up in a pony tale when I do my missions. My eyes are red from lack of sleep, just so many thoughts that go through my mind that keep me awake, all week I have probably had less than 10 hours of sleep, that's like two hours a night. I am in my PJ's right now, just an extra large shirt and shorts, I'm not too crazy into girly pajamas.

I am looking at my room right now and it is so empty: Just a closet with what very little clothing I own, a small TV, and my bed that I am on right now. This place sucks. I mean for a top secret military base that flies in the sky I would have figured that there would be cooler bedrooms like the ones on Star Trek or something. I need to get out of here...

_[Entry 2]_

I am currently sitting at some random skyscraper in Manhattan. It 's a hot night and I am all sweaty. I currently have my mask off in order to get some air, my hair is wet and so is my costume. I need to rethink my wardrobe. A red spandex costume that can tear easily is really not the best idea to wear. I need to get something that is bullet proof and can absorb sweat better.

Taking a second I am looking at the city view. It is beautiful, probably one of the most beautiful sites I have ever seen. I have swung these building many times before but I haven't really taken the time to admire the beauty that they hold. Bright light coming out of man made giant concrete monsters. So many people living here don't even realize what they have.

_[Entry 3] _

So I told Nick Fury that I needed time away from the Helicarrier. I told him that I needed to find myself and that I needed to put to rest many thought keeping me awake at night.

"No," he said.

"I'm 18 you can't legally keep me here if I don't want to be here." I responded.

"I can if it's your job."

"Tell that to Captain America."

"What?" He shouted.

"Look it's just..."

"What?"

"I need to find myself, I need to find out who I am." I said.

"You're Jessica Drew agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. What more needs to be said?"

"I'm sorry Nick. I need more."

Nick Fury got this annoyed look to his face. He then rubbed his eye and looked at me and said, "This finding yourself crap better not take long."

"It won't," I responded happily.

_[Entry 4]_

I am currently in my hotel room. I am thankful that S.H.I.E.L.D gave me a fake I.D. Because most places wouldn't let me check into a hotel until I was 21 or 25. And I am back to where I was three days ago, sitting in my room alone with my thoughts.

A part of me wants to see Aunt May and talk to her, and tell her my whole story. But I am afraid that it would give the poor woman a heart attack or what if she doesn't believe me? What if she thinks I'm crazy? God.

I also wanna see M.J. But that might be even more awkward. I mean it might just send her over the edge, "Hey I'm a female clone of your dead boyfriend!" yeah that would go over very well.

But just to give me some ease I am going to go check on them from a distance, creepy I know, but that seems to be the only way. Well the best way. Well it will work for me anyhow.

_[Entry 5]_

So far so good. Aunt May and Gwen are safe at home. Everything is quiet in my... His old neighborhood. I guess the place deserves quiet times ever since Peter died and the media rushed in. Gwen and Aunt May seem to be developing a good relationship, and that makes me really happy. They need each other badly, two people who have nothing left in this world but each other. God how I just want to run up to them and embrace them, how I want to be in their lives so badly, and how I just want to say that they are not alone. I just want them to know how much I care for them, and I much I need them.

M.J. On the other hand seems to be doing okay. Not great, but okay. She's all gothed out or emo'd out or something like that. She's wearing all black and it just doesn't seem like she's herself. She seems distant and disconnected with the world. I think I need to get closer and find out more. I need to know if she is okay, not just physically but I need to know if she is okay mentally.

_[Entry 6]_

I went out in my civilian garb- a t-shirt and jeans with slip on shoes. I would have worn shorts but I haven't quiet gotten used to the whole shaving my legs part of being a girl, I need to work on that.

I followed her to a Starbucks where she ordered a hot chocolate, I just ordered a black coffee, Nick Fury said that he doesn't know how I drink it straight up, I told him that it usually taste fine to me.

I grabbed a paper and tried to make it look like I was reading (again creepy I know). She was writing in a note book. I couldn't make out what she was writing but I assume it was homework. I sat and spied on her for a good 20 minutes before some crazy shit happened.

Okay please bare with me here as I don't tend to be very descriptive when I write: Two masked men with AK 47's (why those guns at a Starbucks? I have no idea) ran in and held the place hostage while they robbed the store. Well instinct kicked in and it was Spider-Woman to the rescue.

I didn't bring my costume, not that I would have been able to change into it, so I had to hold back as much as I could. I jumped on one of the men and broke his wrist and kicked the gun out of the way. The other man grabbed an employee and threatened to shoot her. I ran up and kicked the gun out of his hand and then punched him in the face knocking him out. I turned and looked at the crowed and they all cheered me on.

After the police showed up and we all gave accounts of what happened. The cops thanked me for my service and that was that. I left the place and waited outside to see M.J leave. Once she stepped outside of the place she noticed me and then walked up to me.

"That was amazing," she said to me.

"T-Thanks," I responded. I was nervous, I didn't know what I was gonna say to her. Hell I wasn't actually planning on talking to her, but I wanted to.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," I responded.

M.J began to walk away.

"Hey!" I shouted, which surprised me.

She turned around and looked at me.

"My name is Jessica... Jessica Drew."

"Mary Jane," she then shook my hand.

"I'm kinda new to town, maybe as a reward for saving you, you could maybe show me around?" I said half jokingly.

She smiled. "Come on."

It was amazing. She took me around places that I had already knew thanks to Peter's memories, but with M.J everything seemed new again. We went to Queens and she was telling me about getting ready to graduate and the colleges that she was planning on going to. Boring conversation to many but it was the best conversation in the world for me.

After several hours of hanging out we exchanged phone numbers. (Thank you S.H.I.E.L.D for my Iphone) And agreed to meet up again later on that week. I totally needed this. I think everything is going to be okay.

[Entry 7]

I visited Peter's grave today and left some flowers. I sad a few words regarding our missed opportunity for a "brother/sister" relationship. If there is a God and if there is a Heaven, Peter is there looking down on me. I hope I will never disappoint him.

I then walked over to see Uncle Ben. While I never actually got to meet him it was nice to see his grave. I know Uncle Ben's memories are Peter's but I still feel his guilt for Uncle Ben's death. With Great Power must also come great Responsibility, words Peter lived by and died by. I will also live by those words.

Later that day I checked on Aunt May again. She was grocery shopping and seemed to be fine.

I then checked on Gwen at school, she seemed okay as well.

I think I should go talk to them. Maybe if I slowly build a friendship with them then maybe I can finally let them know who I am.

_[Entry 8]_

Okay so this is how my day started: Rhino robbed a bank in Queens. I fought him for three hours straight. Hitting him and kicking him with everything I had. I had to eventually use my surrounding as a weapon: Stop signs to the face, trash cans to the back, and using a manhole cover as a flying shield (thank you Captain America). Eventually I knocked him out by webbing his nose and mouth shut so he couldn't breath. Don't worry he survived. After he was down I made a web cocoon around his body so that he couldn't move when he woke up, or at least I hope he wouldn't be able to. My webbing is organic so I needed to replenish myself and drink as much water as I could. At least I think that's how it works.

I then decided to call up M.J and see what she was up to. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie or hang out at a park or something.

We decided to just go for a walk in the park tomorrow. I am super excited.

_[Entry 9]_

Oh God, I totally screwed up big time. Why couldn't have been Venom attacking or Reed Richards causing another crisis? I am ashamed of myself I haven't stopped crying since! Oh god what have I done?

I-I tried to make out with Mary Jane!

Okay we were hanging out at some park and just walking around talking about, I can't even remember, some girl stuff I know that, but I don't know what came over me I swear! We stopped our conversation and looked at each other for a few moments and I couldn't stop myself. I kissed her right on the lips hard, I hugged her tightly and... and... she didn't like it.

I backed off of her and apologized repeatedly over and over again. She laughed an uncomfortable laugh and said that she "Doesn't swing that way."

I turned my back towards her and bent my head down to the ground.

"I-I'm not into girls," she said. "I'm sorry if I led you on. I still want to be friends."

My eyes watered and my throat swelled. Tears ran down and I felt my world crumble. She walked up to me and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm sorry," I said crying my eyes out.

"Whoa I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"No it's not that. I-" I paused to get it together. "I need to go"

"Jessica!" she called as I walked away.

I couldn't turn around and look at her. I am such an idiot! I'm so stupid! God I just want this day to end.

_[Entry 10]_

So I haven't left my hotel room all day. I am completing using this fake I.D to get some alcohol, not that I have ever drank the stuff before but it sound nice now. M.J has sent me some text messages asking if I was okay. God she is such a good friend checking up on me even after our awkward moment together. I should respond, but what am I going to say? I should tell her the truth. No that's a bit... I know she can handle it. But the question I should be asking is, "Am I ready to reveal my secret to her?"

I don't need alcohol, it's not good for me, epically in this state. I'll settle for Ben and Jerry's instead.

[Entry 11]

I met up with M.J at a mall food court and decided to tell her everything: The fact that I am a clone of Peter, my memories I share of him, me wondering trying to find myself, and my confusion.

"Holy crap!" she said.

"I know it's a lot to take in," I said.

"I-I, how do I even know if-"

"What I'm saying is true?"

She looks at me unsure of my words.

"You don't. But I think you know deep inside that what I am saying is true." I said quietly.

M.J looks at me for a long while.

"I think I'm gonna faint," She finally said.

"I'll leave if it's too much."

"I thought all of his clones were dead."

"No just me, and his scorpion clone."

"Wait what?" she said shocked.

"The original scorpion is a clone of Peter, a perfect clone."

"Where is he?"

"He's in S.H.I.E.L.D custody, he's not mentally stable. I'm sorry."

M.J looks down with sadness.

"I'll take you home," I said.

[Entry 12]

I have decided that today is going to be the day that I finally talk to Aunt May and Gwen. I am not sure what's going to happen or how it's going to go down. I am afraid. But maybe this will give me the piece I need to create my own life. I just need to talk to them.

[Entry 13]

So here I am in Peter's room. I am on his bed writing this entry in my journal. I will explain how I got here in a second. I just have to mention how surreal it is to be here. It is exactly as I remember it, the posters on the wall are the same, the carpet looks the same, and it smells the same. I am home. I feel like I woke up from a long nightmare and I am finally in MY room but it's not my room. For a second I thought I was Peter but then I looked down and saw that I had the body of a woman still.

It was early yesterday and I swung through the city. I stopped a few crooks here and there but nothing too major. I came here to Aunt May's house and went in through the window like Peter used to. I knew she wasn't home but I needed a few moments there alone in order to figure out what I was going to say to her. I felt like a creep. Like some crazy person breaking into a poor woman's house to say that I love and miss her. God I was scared.

I was in my costume, I felt that it was important that she see me in costume because I once rescued her during Magneto's attack on the world. She needs to see that I am a friend and not foe.

I looked at all the pictures of Peter as a child with Uncle Ben and Aunt May. I started to choke up. This wasn't my life and these aren't my memories, I had no right to be here, but yet I was here.

Hours passed and I was sitting on the couch when I heard Aunt May and Gwen pull up. I took in a deep breath knowing that this was it. All of this my feelings, my needs, my fears, and everything will be out there. I will be vulnerable and if I'm rejected that will be it. All of this would have been for nothing.

The door opened and Aunt May and Gwen entered. They looked at me in shock.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Shouted Gwen angrily.

I removed my mask and then looked at Aunt May and said, "My name is Jessica Drew, we met once during Magneto's attack on New York, I saved you and I called you Aunt May."

"Alright I'm calling the cops," said Gwen.

"Wait," Aunt May said to her. "Why are you in my house?" She then asked me.

"I... I needed to see you. It's a long story but, God I don't know if you are going to believe me but here it goes: I'm a clone of Peter Parker, I have all of his memories, abilities, and feelings. I have been trying to live a life of my own for two years, I didn't want to intrude on your lives. I have helped him fight Dr. Ock a few times, and I became a member of the Ultimates. But I just feel so empty inside I feel like I'm living a lie. I again have all his memories, I have the same guilt that he had for letting Uncle Ben die, I have the since of great power and great responsibility, and the overall determination to make this a better world. I remember when I was... when he was little and he was having some horrible nightmares because he was dealing with the loss of his parents, you would hold me/ him in your arms and let me/him cry. You helped me over come so much tragedy and you didn't deserve any of this."

I sat down on the couch. Tears begin falling down my face.

"I am not Peter, I will never be. I don't know why I came here other than the fact that I just miss you. You don't even know who I am, I am just some creep who broke into your house just to lay this shit on you."

May took a seat next to me. Gwen stayed standing unsure of what to make of the situation. May lifted my face and looked at my red eyes. "Dear, please stop crying."

May looks at Gwen.

"We have been through a lot, dealing with super villains, civil wars, alien invasions, and so many other things I can't think of at the moment. My heart tells me that you are telling the truth."

She studies my face.

"You look so much like him."

About an hour passes and I am having dinner with Gwen and May.

"Just so you know breaking into our house like that was so uncool!" said Gwen.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to be discrete about it." I said.

"Still not cool."

"Thank you for dinner Aunt May." I said.

"You're welcome. Jessica where are you living right now?" Aunt May asked.

"S.H.I.E.L.D Helicarrier base. I have a room that they let me stay in."

"Sounds pretty cool," said Gwen.

"It gets boring after a while."

"Are you going to go back tonight?" Asked Aunt May.

"I have a hotel room I am spending the night in actually."

Gwen then paused and looked at me.

"So I talked to M.J the other day and she told me about her new friend Jessica," said Gwen.

"What did she say?" I asked.

"Nothing really."

"Oh okay."

I looked at May and said, "I'm not here to replace Peter or anything like that. I just needed to see my... his family. I have no right to be here I know. Please forgive my intrusion again. Thank you for welcoming me in your home. I think I can move on with my life now."

I get up to leave and May stands up and says, "Please stay the night, I insist."

"I can't."

"Please."

"Where am I going to sleep?" I asked.

"In Peter's bedroom." She said.

"I'm sorry that is a bit much. I can't do that it feels disrespectful."

May walked up to me and smiled, "Peter would be okay with it. I have been thinking about what you have been saying about having his memories and how you don't feel that they don't belong to you. Let them belong to you. Cherish all the lessons that you have learned from them, enjoy the good memories that you have been given. They are yours now, they are Jessica Drew's memories now use them to build your life Jessica. That's what he would want, that's what I want."

I hug her tightly. "Thank you, I needed this."

And here I am now. I don't plan to stay here past this night. Tomorrow I am going back to S.H.I.E.L.D and going back to business as usual. But now my head is clear and now I can move forward. Now I know I have a family thinking of me.

**End.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hello I just wanted to add a disclaimer: This chapter does have some content dealing with sex and dialogue discussing sex, now this ISN'T R rated and is NOT graphic but it is a bit adult at times. I just want to stress without spoiling too much of the story that Jessica Drew and Johnny Storm are both 18 years old in this story. So with that said please enjoy.**_

2

[Entry 14]

So I'm back in my room on the S.H.I.E.L.D Hellicarrier. It's still crappy in here but at least now my heart is healing. And now I know that I have a family. That felt so good to type.

Well anyways, it's been a pretty busy day for me. Nick Fury didn't waste any time putting me on a mission. I had to search for information an a Dr. Bart Hamilton- a former OSCORP employee who was believed to have stolen a sample of OZ from Norman Osborn shortly after I became... Peter became Spider-Man.

Bart Hamilton hasn't been seen in years, and is believed to be dead or in hiding. Nick Fury wants me to look into where he might have gone. With that drug though he could be very dangerous. I will admit that I am a bit afraid. If he used the drug on himself he would definitely have been found by now, what is he waiting for?

A worse possibility is that he could have sold the drug to a buyer that could use it to cause some serious damage. I should stop writing about this, these thoughts could keep me up all night, and I need all the sleep I could get.

[Entry 15]

So I was swinging to one of Osborn's old hideouts when wouldn't you know it I ran into Johnny Storm AKA the Human Torch. He had been with the X-Men shortly after Peter died.

"Hello beautiful," he said to me.

"Not now Johnny," I responded swinging away. He followed quickly behind.

"So whatcha doing?"

"None of your business."

He smiled and said, "What ever." He then flew close behind me (I know he was checking me out) and said, "So I was thinking about going to see a movie this weekend, wanna come?"

"No," I responded.

"Okay how about dinner?"

"Johnny, I can't! I have very important things I need to do."

"Sheesh, I was only asking."

I kinda felt bad talking to him like that, but he needs to find himself another girl to hit on. One that is not a clone of his best friend.

"Well can I at least help you with what ever it is your doing?" he asked.

I had to think for a moment. If I am going to be dealing with a possible goblin Johnny's help would really be needed.

"Fine. But as long as you stay quiet," I said.

We searched around Osborn's hide out and didn't find squat. Johnny stayed silent for a total of five milliseconds and decided to try to flirt with me every chance he could get. He weirds me out I'm not gonna lie. I remember him as a really good friend, someone that I could have a pretty fun conversation with, and just someone who could relate to being a teen with powers. But with him wanting to go out with me and all, it's a bit much.

A part of me is flattered by it actually (I really hate to admit that), I mean he is attractive, and ever since he died his hair black he looks kinda cute. God what am I saying? It feels wrong but there is a part of me that feels some attraction to him.

Jesus, first I put the moves on M.J and now I'm thinking thoughts about Johnny. Oh my God. Okay it's official: I am sexually confused.

Well back to searching for information on Bart Hamilton. Johnny and I then left the hideout and paroled the city for a while. We stopped a few petty thugs here and there, but nothing too serious. Johnny kept asking me to go to the movies.

"Come on Pacific Rim looks amazing!" he said to me.

"Johnny we see that kinda stuff on a monthly bases, why would you wanna see it on the screen?" I responded.

"Same reason why most people like a good drama or comedy."

I looked at him intrigued by what his next statement might be.

"Just an excuse to escape for a little bit, and let out minds take in something else besides this crazy ass world we live in." he said.

"I'm-" I began but he interrupted with, "You are just too tense."

"I'm fine." I responded.

"No I mean you're so serious all the time, you just need to loosen up a bit and have some fun. When was the last time you actually had fun?"

I had to think about it longer than I expected. I really don't remember when I last had fun, I remember that last time Peter had fun, but not the last time I had fun, if I ever had fun.

I swung to a building rooftop and stopped to take a break. I pulled off my mask so that I could get some fresh air. Johnny turned off his fire form and began walking on the rooftop with me. I took a seat down on the edge of the roof so that I could look out at the city.

Johnny sat down next to me. I looked at his clothing and noticed then that he was wearing his blue Fantastic Four uniform.

"Why do you still wear that thing?" I asked.

"My costume?" he asked back.

"Yeah."

"It won't burn up like my other cloths."

"But why not just make another costume? The Fantastic Four are over."

"It holds good memories. Reed Richards might be a murderous maniac now but we still had some amazing times as a team. Ever since Magneto flooded New York and my team broke up, I find myself not being able to let go."

He grabbed his shirt, "This costume means so much to me. It's not about the material or the number four on the chest. It's about what it stood for, and what it means to me."

I was taken back by his words, I didn't realize he was that complex, and I didn't realize that he could be this deep. I looked out at the city and took in a deep breath.

"Fine I'll go. What time do you wanna see the movie?" I asked.

He jumped up with happiness, "Sweet! See you Friday night at 7 p.m."

We exchanged numbers and then went out separate ways.

So yeah I have a date Friday...

[Entry 16]

Today wasn't too eventful. I still don't have a lead on Hamilton or the OZ drug he stole. He and the drug have been missing for three years now. The question on my mind is why hasn't there been and incident yet? With all the crazy events happing in the world these last few years I would have assumed that someone would have used it or mass produce the drug.

Okay I need to not think of that scenario.

Oh Johnny keeps sending me cute text messages. I'm not too crazy about texting, I like to use the phone to actually talk, but everyone texts so I guess I have to evolve.

[Entry 17]

Breaking news! Holy crap this is for real! A S.H.I.E.L.D agent was found murdered last night. He was brunt and most of him had been torn to shreds (I am ver disturbed by this). He had been found in a sewer of all places. I have a feeling that I am gonna have to get dirty for this. I am going to have to go down into New York's sewers and see if it is indeed a Goblin.

I am about to make a phone call to Johnny, I know that if I am right we are going to be in one serous fight. I have already given information to Nick Fury so that he can have S.H.I.E.L.D agents back me up.

[Entry 18]

I am totally pissed off right now. Nick Fury sent Hawkeye and several S.H.I.E.L.D agents down to the sewers to find Hamilton before I had even had a chance to get my costume on. I still haven't been given any information about weather we are dealing with a Goblin in the sewers or some other creature all together, or if this is Hamilton or some other person all together. I know what it is...

Nick Fury is afraid that I am gonna get myself killed if I go up against a Goblin. My question is: Why did even put me on this assignment in the first place? If it was just to gather intel then I failed badly. I had the impression that I was gonna be doing some superhero/villain throw down. I just wanted to see this through. Well I will have to wait until I can get more information from Nick about our situation with Hamilton.

[Entry 19]

My date with Johnny is today, my mind is still on Hamilton and the Goblin serum. I just need to know what is going on. I am getting prepared for war here. I am losing sleep wondering what's going on with this Goblin situation.

I swear after this B.S. Is all over I am leaving the Ultimates. I have had it will all this nonsense. It's time I move on. I hate it here anyway.

[Entry 20]

I...Well...

Okay I slept with Johnny, there I said it! God I feel like a skank.

Lets start from the beginning: I met up with Johnny at a movie theater, I was a bit under dressed, all I wore was a t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Johnny on the other hand was over dressed wearing a nice business suit and tie, with shined shoes.

"Wow," I said.

"Thanks, I love having an excuse to wear my suit," he said.

"I wish you would have told me you were dressing this nice, I would have picked out something better to wear."

"You're fine!" He said and then looked at me and smiled.

We got our tickets and took our seats. Neither one of us got snacks, I wasn't too hungry, and Johnny said that popcorn kernels always get stuck in between his teeth so he didn't want any.

We took our seats and just talked.

"So how do you like working for S.H.I.E.L.D?" asked Johnny.

"I actually don't like it, and lets not have this conversation where people can actually hear us." I said.

"Sorry, it's just I'm... well I am not usually a nervous type of person, but I am"

"Why?"

"I have been on dates with celebrities, models, or whatever hot girl I could find. But none of them could ever truly relate to my situation."

I raised an eyebrow. "What situation could that be?" I asked.

"Being a person with superpowers, being different than most people." he said.

He leaned back in his chair and continued on with "You actually know what it's like to be different."

I was taken back by this. "If only you knew." I said.

"How did you get your powers?" He asked.

I paused. I thought about telling him about how I am a clone of Peter Parker and that whole mess but I just didn't feel ready to share that information with him. Aunt May accepted me for me, she didn't freak out or anything like that. I don't know if Johnny could handle knowing that about me.

"I'm a mutant," I lied.

"Oh," he said softly.

The movie started and we went silent.

After the movies we went out for some coffee. Johnny paid for the drinks and we walked around the city taking in the air (even though the air is polluted) and just talked and talked. Johnny opened up to me in a way I didn't know he could. It was like he instantly trusted me with everything in his world. He told me things like how he wants to go to film school and become a director. He told me that he wanted to do that before becoming a superhero. He told me about how he misses his family and how he wishes that the Fantastic Four could have stayed together.

"I'm not gonna lie," he said and then continued on with "there are some days that I even miss Reed."

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Not the Reed we know now, but the Reed who would do anything to save the world, the Reed who fought against Zombie versions of ourselves, the Reed who was my friend. Not this evil murderous jackass we know now. I don't know who this Reed Richards is."

Johnny grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry if that bothered you at all. I know Reed is insane, but if you had lived with him and fought with him as long as I did, you would understand."

"It's okay Johnny, I understand," I said.

We looked into each others eyes for a long moment. He smiled and I smiled. I was having a really good time and then...

My spider sense tingled.

"Uh oh, my spider sense is tingling." I said.

"What's going on?" he asked.

I looked towards an alley way. Two thugs walked out towards us. One had a gun while the other had a knife.

"Johnny, I can handle this." I said.

"Good because this suit isn't fireproof." he responded.

I jumped and kicked the thug with the gun in the face and then webbed the thug with the knife to a building. I went back to the thug with the gun and webbed him up to. I then looked at Johnny and he took off his suit jacket and pulled back his shirt sleeve. He then set his hand in fire and grabbed the gun and melted it.

We phoned the police and left the scene before they arrived.

We found our way to a roof top so that we could finish our conversation. But we didn't talk. We just stared at each other for several long moments and then he kissed me. I couldn't control myself and I went with it.

I am not going to go too farther into detail but long story short we found our way to the Baxter building and went to Johnny's old room. He hadn't been living there for a while but I guess he stays there from time to time. Well anyways we went to his room and one thing led to another and...

Yep.

I woke up the next morning in bed with Johnny. He was sleeping with a big smile on his face. The words "Oh My God" were ringing through my head just screaming in my head. I threw on my cloths quickly and got out of there.

When I finally left the building I walked around the city for a little bit alone. I passed by a window and looked at my reflection: My hair was a mess, the bedhead was insanely bad like half of my hair was all tangled up and frizzy. I really needed a shower, I felt so dirty, and I felt like a slut. I had a one night stand. I am so ashamed of myself.

I finally got back to the Helicarrier and took like ten showers in a row. I feel clean now but I still feel really bad about sleeping with Johnny. He's my friend, this was wrong, and now he's gonna think that we are together.

F my life.

[Entry 21]

I have been receiving texts from Johnny, none of which I have responded to yet. Not that I don't want to but I am still working things out in my head. I feel that I need to really let Johnny know that it was a one time deal and that's it.

Nick Fury finally got back with me. I guess Hawkeye didn't fare any better trying to find this new Goblin. Figures.

I hate this. I really hate this. I just want to find Hamilton and this Goblin and just have this all over and done with. My heart is just not in the fight anymore. I want to give up being a super hero and just try to live a normal life.

Ha! A normal life. I am anything but normal.

[Entry 22]

So I decided to go see Johnny today, I have been avoiding him all day yesterday, and I need to let Johnny know that we are not a couple. I have a feeling that our conversation is going to be a rough one. We had a one night relationship as I'm calling it now (because it sounds cleaner to me) and that's that.

God forbid he ever finds out that I am a clone of Peter Parker. Johnny would freak out and I wouldn't know what to do. I have to end this before it gets any worse.

[Entry 23]

So yeah...

I am in a pickle right now. So I didn't exactly lay is straight to Johnny. He well kind of...

We met up at a nice restaurant and grabbed a seat. Well the conversation went something like this: "So why are you avoiding my texts beautiful?" asked Johnny.

"I've been busy," I responded.

"Too busy to respond to your boyfriend?"

"Johnny about that... we need to talk."

"Yes we do," he said in a serious tone and continued on with, "The other night was the most amazing night I have ever had in my life. I have never had a connection with a girl like you before. I feel complete."

"Umm... Johnny I-" I started but then he interrupted.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Jessica." He said passionately.

_Oh crap!_ I thought to myself. "Johnny you can't possibly be falling in love with me. We barely know each other."

"I know what I feel, I know what my heart wants, and what it needs!" He said.

_That was so cheesy, _I thought to myself. "Johnny I'm flattered but I-I..." I looked into his eyes and can see that he truly felt what he was saying. He really was falling in love with me. And I felt bad about it. I trailed off and we both got quiet.

I thought about my feelings towards Johnny. I wouldn't have had sex with him if there wasn't something that I felt was there. It's not me and it's not something I would do with a person I didn't have feelings for.

I thought back to me coming onto M.J and how awkward things got, and how I got rejected, and how badly I felt after. I don't want to do that with Johnny. But do I have feelings for him? I cannot answer that right now.

"Johnny I am still working things out," I said after a long silence.

"Working things out?" He asked.

"In my head, I have a very complicated past, and I have a lot of emotions that I am working out"

"Oh."

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Lets take it slow, I don't want to rush this relationship any faster than it has gone."

"I don't know how much faster we can rush it, we already did it." he said.

"True, but we can still let things blossom naturally." I responded.

"What is it your afraid of? He asked.

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"I call B.S on that. You just said that you have a complicated past, are you afraid that I am gonna reject you because of that? Have you forgotten that I was a member of the Fantastic Four? My life has been nothing but complicated ever since. I am not gonna reject you because you may have a complicated past. Jessica I am in love with you for you and nothing can change my mind about that!"

I couldn't hold back anymore, I had to tell him the truth, because I couldn't let this go any further with out him knowing.

I let out a breath of air, "Johnny, I-I..." I looked at him straight in the eyes "I would ask you to not freak out but I have a feeling that is not going to happen."

"Just tell me what is bothering you," he grabs my hand, "It's gonna be okay."

"Well here it goes. Johnny I am a clone of Peter Parker. Yes Peter Parker AKA Spider-Man. I have all of his memories and feelings. Which was why I have been acting weird around you. Since I am a woman but have all the memories of a man and I have been struggling with my sexual feeling as of late."

Johnny's eyes opened wide. "Okay that was a horrible joke, not funny at all!"

"It's true." I said.

"Peter was my best friend, I lived with him and-"

"Aunt May, Gwen Stacy, and Bobby Drake. I know this. Look what do I need to do to convince you? I have all of his powers, have you not wandered how I got my powers!"

I took out my cell phone and pulled up a picture of Peter. "Look at his face and look at mine, and tell me you don't see a strong resemblance."

Johnny grabbed my phone and looked at the picture and then back at me. He did a few takes and then he gave me back the phone.

"Oh my God," he said quietly.

"Are you okay?" I asked knowing that he wasn't.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." He looked down at the floor.

"Look if it helps any just think of me as his sister," I said trying to comfort him.

"You have all of his memories?"

"Yes"

"Then why did you... Why did? Gahh!"

"I'm sorry."

"Jessica I think I need to go."

"I understand."

Johnny left the restaurant and quickly took flight to the sky. I could see he was beginning to cry. I am afraid that this was too much for him. But he needed to know.

So far since I have been back to write this I haven't received any text from him. I am worried about him, but I know he'll get through this.

_**To be Continued...**_


	3. Chapter 3

[Entry 24]

It's been a few months since my last entry. My life has been so chaotic lately, with constant missions left and right, one super villain after the next. I have been beyond the point of tired and beyond burnt out.

I wish I could write more, but that's all I have to say today. I am just tired.

[Entry 25]

I met up with Mary Jane for lunch today. She actually contacted me, which surprised me because I thought I ruined things when I came onto her.

We were at a deli and the both of us got sandwiches. I sat down and took a bit of my sandwich, I looked up and Mary Jane was adjusting her glasses.

"So anything new with you?" She asked.

I took a sip of my drink and said, "Fighting a different super villain everyday, same old same old."

There was a long pause as we exchanged glances.

"I may have slept with Johnny Storm.." I trailed off. Mary Jane's eyes opened wide in surprise.

"You didn't!" She half shouted.

"Yeah I did," I sighed unhappily, "And I told him I was a clone of Peter afterwards."

"Like after you two had..."

"No-No-No, I mean like a few days after, not immediately, that would have been really bad."

"How did he take it?"

"Not good. He's freaked out. To him he might as well have slept with a dude." I lowered my head.

Mary Jane looked away for a moment, I could tell that me telling her about Johnny and I was making her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, it's personal I guess." I said.

"It's okay. You can trust me." She responded.

"I know." I smiled.

I was still very much attracted to her, her beautiful red hair, her stunning green eyes, the perfume she always wore bring back memories of being close to her, and her overall strength to be my friend, even if I am just a copy of her dead boyfriend.

"You're not still weirded out by me kissing you, are you?" I finally asked.

"Well..." Mary Jane wondered off, "No, it's all cool. It's complicated, I am still in love with Peter, and you are his clone. I want to be with you but..."

"You are not into girls, it's cool, I understand." I responded. Mary Jane is not homophobic, not one bit, but I can see that she is getting more uncomfortable.

"It's just..." She took in a deep breath, "I am really confused right now." She tears up a bit, "I am pissed that you slept with Johnny, how could you do that?"

I was thrown back, a large part of her sees me as Peter Parker not Jessica Drew. She is reacting as if Peter cheated on her.

"Oh God, this is stupid, I'm sorry," she said wiping away her tears.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I just... Hell I don't even know what I was doing. I love you and I never wanted to hurt you."

"You didn't, it's stupid, I shouldn't be jealous." She gets up from the table and leaves the deli. I followed her. She was standing outside and was trying to fight sobbing. I walked up to her and hugged her.

The rest of our day was quiet and we didn't speak about Johnny or Peter after we left the deli.

Mary Jane tells me that she wants to be close friends, and I tell her I want the same.

[Entry 26]

Nick Fury never tells me anything, I know something huge is about to happen. There have been more reports of Goblins showing up all over New York, not just Bart Hamilton. I have gone to Fury about this several times and he tell me that he wants me away from this. I know why, because of Peter and Osborn. I promise that history will never repeat itself. Never.

[Entry 27]

Was web slinging today and wouldn't you know it, I ran into Johnny Storm. He was flying through the air and asked me to pull over to a roof top. Once there, we just stared into each other's eyes for several moments.

"Jessica, I-" He stared and then I interrupted with, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," he said, " I should never have freaked out like that." He looks away.

"It's okay-"

"No it's not okay. It's was never okay. When you told me that you were Peter's clone I literally felt like I had just been dating Peter, but you're not him, you're Jessica."

He takes a seat on the ground, I took a seat as well.

"I don't care about your past, or the fact that you're a clone, I still can't stop thinking about you. I actually am in love with you. I can't fight it."

I rushed up and kissed Johnny, he hugged me tightly as we kissed.

It would have been an excellent moment, if Johnny could have stayed quiet.

"Okay I gotta ask: Do all of your lady parts work like a real woman's or is it more like a transsexual?"

I gave him an annoyed look, "I was born a girl," I responded.

"Just asking."

There was a long pause, Johnny wasn't fully satisfied with my answer.

"Yes my lady parts work, happy now?"

"Yeah." He responded.

We kissed again. "Hey can I ask another question?"

"No lets enjoy this moment." I responded.

[Entry 29]

We spent the night at Johnny's apartment. It was a run down cheap apartment, water was dripping through the ceiling, dirty cloths and dirty dishes were everywhere, and I could see bugs crawling on the floor. Johnny used to be rich but I guess after the Fantastic Four broke up he had fallen onto hard times. Poor guy.

Johnny woke up and smiled at me, "Good morning beautiful."

"Morning, Johnny this place is a dump." I said.

"You didn't complain last time you spent the night."

"You and I both know that my mind was elsewhere when I was here last time."

I sat up in his bed and looked at the room some more.

"Maybe I can talk to Fury and get you a place with me." I said.

"No."

"You don't want to live with me?" I said knowing that statement wasn't the real reason why.

"Fury is an asshole, he uses and abuses people, S.H.I.E.L.D. Is corrupt and I don't want to be apart of that. I am surprised that you are."

"I have a place to live, free food, and I get paid more or less."

"More or less?" he asked.

"I can buy things with this credit card that S.H.I.E.L.D gave me, anything I want, but it doesn't have a balance."

"Hmm..." He sat up and pondered.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked.

Johnny started to kiss me on the neck.

"Besides that," I said.

"We could go and find some crime to fight." he said.

Without saying anything the both of us got suited up and left his apartment.

[Entry 30]

The shit has hit the fan. (Please excuse my language)

Johnny and I were paroling the city when we came across a Goblin robbing a bank. This goblin was red and was shooting fire from it's hands. Johnny and I went down to fight the beast. I swung and kicked at it several times. I threw empty cars at the goblin hoping to stop it. Johnny kept throwing fire at it but it was immune to his powers.

I webbed the goblin in the eyes and wrapped my legs around it's shoulders, I then proceeded to punch it in the head several times over. Cops were firing at it. At one point a bullet grazed my arm and I fell off of the goblin.

The creature managed to rip off the webbing in it's eyes. It grabbed a bag of money and ran to a manhole. It ripped the manhole cover off and jumped. Johnny and I followed it.

We managed to follow it to a layer that was built to look like the inside of a castle. Johnny and I knew immediately that something was wrong.

I hopped onto a ceiling and began to crawl slowly, Johnny flew as quietly as he could. We stopped as soon as we heard the Goblin speaking to another Goblin.

"The money is ruined," Said a dark yellow goblin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know they put an ink bomb in..."

The yellow goblin then snapped the red goblin's neck, killing him.

A grey goblin approaches him and kneels.

"What do you have for me Hamilton?"

"Mr. Kingsley we have intruders."

Johnny and I ran to find a hiding spot. We ran to an exposed pipe near the ceiling.

Two S.H.I.E.L.D agents are brought forward to the goblin.

"S.H.I.E.L.D knows we're here," said Hamilton.

The yellow goblin looks at the agents and sets them on fire.

"Sir! You didn't want to question them?"

"There is nothing to question, S.H.I.E.L.D knows we're here. And I am ready for war. Let them come."

I had heard enough and I jumped down and kicked the yellow goblin.

He grabbed my leg and swung me into a wall and hit me several times over.

Johnny tried to rescue me but was caught by Hamilton.

"More intruders." said the yellow goblin before hitting me again. "I should kill you now, burn you where you stand, but I won't." He then tore off my mask and put one of his claws to my face.

"You're very pretty, I should send Fury back your face."

"You touch her and I will kill you," screamed Johnny. The grey Goblin then punches Johnny in the stomach.

"They call me the Hobgoblin, this is my kingdom, and you are at my mercy." He said.

A group of twenty or so goblins walk into the room. They all kneel before the Hobgoblin. He then points to the other goblins.

"This is the goblin society."

There was too many to fight, Johnny was weak and I was beaten. I webbed the Hobgoblins face and jumped out of his grasps. I grabbed Johnny and swung out of there as fast as I could go. Goblins followed us, but stopped by the time we got to the surface.

When we got to the street I swung to an alley and looked at Johnny's wounds. He had cuts on his face and a three broken ribs.

He looked at me and pointed out that my face was swollen and my left eye was black. I had cuts everywhere. We needed to get home. So I took us home.

[Entry 31]

I woke up in a bath tub, I was naked and the water was slightly bloody from my wounds. I looked up and saw Gwen Stacy.

"Oh good you're awake. Aunt May!" She shouted.

She then wrapped a towel around my body.

Aunt May ran into the bathroom.

"How did I get here?" I asked.

"You came in through the front door," Gwen answered, "You were bleeding badly and Johnny was badly messed up too."

"Johnny!" I jumped up. Aunt May put her arm on my shoulder. "He's fine, he went to get help."

"He was hurt and.."

"You were hurt much worse," said Aunt May. She teared up. "We thought you were going to bleed to death like Peter."

"I was just hit in the face, I'm okay."

Gwen handed me a mirror and I looked at my face, it was still swollen and bruised, my lips were busted, eyes black, nose clearly broken, jaw was probably broken too, I opened my mouth and saw that I was missing a few teeth. I gave the mirror back to Gwen.

"Johnny told us what happened to you," Aunt May said.

"I have to stop them," I said.

"Don't fight those things again!" Aunt May screamed, "We lost Peter to one of those goblins, there are dozens of them now, and I will not lose you too."

I got up out of the bath tub. Gwen had some cloths set out for me and I put them on.

"Is she okay?" said a voice from a distance. I turned around and saw Mary Jane down stairs. I ran down and hugged her. "Oh my God, your face!" She cried.

"Will be fixed soon, S.H.I.E.L.D has pretty good medical." I said.

"Gwen told me that you almost died."

"I'm okay, I am very much alive."

"What are you going to do?" Mary Jane asked.

"I have to stop them."

"You can't," said Gwen, "There's too many of them, you will die."

"I can't let them hurt people, they will go to war with S.H.I.E.L.D. Thousands will die."

"Not necessarily," said a voice from behind me. I turned around and there is Nick Fury.

"You're boyfriend Johnny Storm told me everything, I got the Ultimates on it. Rest easy Jessica, everything will be okay." He said.

"I have to help them, the Hobgoblin is too powerful."

"No, I got the entire team on this, Cap, Iron Man, Thor, one of them is going to take down all the goblins. My money is on Thor."

I paused and looked at Aunt May, Gwen, and Mary Jane, I was not going to win this battle. I lowered my head in defeat.

"It's not over," I said.

"A doctor will be coming by soon, I would suggest you get some rest." He said.

Aunt May looked at me and said, "It's okay to let the other heros fight this battle. Please rest."

I then walked away to my (Peter's) bedroom.

[Entry 32]

The S.H.I.E.L.D doctor finally arrived and fixed my nose and stitched up any open wounds. My jaw was fine but swollen. I kept looking on my cell phone seeing if there was any new news on the events. So far I got nothing.

Mary Jane walked into my (Peter's) bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Why do you always have to do this?"

"With great power comes great responsibility," I responded.

"You need to be responsible enough to quit. Responsible enough to live your life. Responsible to allow yourself to grow old and have a family. To be with the ones you love and care about. Not this super hero bull shit."

"I cannot sit and watch people get hurt. I have to protect as many people as I can."

"And that is why Peter is dead. That thought process. That way of thinking killed him. I will damned to see you follow him."

The words stung like a bee sting to the heart. She gets up and leaves the room.

I looked down to see if any new news is up. Nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

4

[Entry 33]

My wounds are beginning to heal faster as the day progresses. The urge to go and fight is stronger every second that passes. It's been an entire day since I came to Aunt May's house. Everyone begged me to stay and not fight the Hobgoblin and his army. Tears were shed by everyone in this house, and I gave in.

Fury sent the Ultimates to stop Hobgoblin's army, I know that they will stop a few, but I don't think they will get the Hobgoblin himself. What bother's me is that I have no idea what his plans and motives are. I have no idea who he is or who anyone in his "goblin society" is. I could be walking on the street and pass anyone one of them and not even know it.

Waiting this out sucks.

[Entry 34]

I looked at myself in the mirror and my face was back to normal. I am so thankful that I can heal a little faster than normal people, but I wish that my healing factor was faster. To never have to worry about getting hurt and to be able to keep fighting on would be amazing.

I started to look for my costume but it was nowhere to be found. I checked the laundry room, the washer and dryer, and it wasn't there.

I walked over to Aunt May who was in the kitchen making dinner and I asked, "Have you seen my costume?" She paused and then looked at me, "We had to dispose of it." She said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I was torn too badly and it was stained with your own blood. You don't need to be wearing that."

"So what am I going to wear when I fight crime?"

"Do you have to go out and fight crime? Do you?"

I responded quickly with, "Yes, I have to help people. The world id a dangerous place and I have to make a difference in it."

She continued to cook, "I'm not going to be able to stop you from being a superhero am I?"

"No." I responded calmly.

She then turned her back to me making it look like she was busy cooking, but I knew she was fighting back tears and didn't want me to see it. I walked away not knowing what to say to her.

I went to my (Peter's) room and looked for a spare costume he may have had around. I looked under the bed, in the closet, drawers, inside the mattress, everywhere, and nothing. I figured after his death, Aunt May got rid of his costumes.

I sat down on the bed and let out a sigh. I heard a tapping at the window. I sharply turned and looked at the window with curiosity, I walked slowly and opened the blinds. It was Johnny, he was on flying outside of the room. I opened the window and let him in. He had a back pack on and set it down on the floor.

"You know you could have been a bit more discrete," I said.

"No one saw me, don't worry." He said.

"Why didn't you come in through the front door? You used to live here, Aunt May wouldn't hesitate to let you in."

"It's more fun this way."

"What ever."

Johnny then sat down on the bed.

"So I have some information for you, information Fury neglected to tell you." He said.

My ears perked, "Tell me," I said.

"The Hobgoblin's real name is Rodrick Kingsley and he is a class A nut job."

"I figured as much."

"Well as it turns out Kingsley is a serial cult leader, this goblin society isn't even his first cult. It's just his first one with this much power."

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"Well Sue got the info from Tony Stark after the Ultimates raid on the Hobgoblin's layer."

"Did they get him?"

"No the Hobgoblin got away with a few of him minions. But we did manage to cut his army in half thanks to Thor frying the crap out of everyone with his hammer."

"It should not have been that easy," I said.

"That's what we thought, so a blood test was ran on one of the goblins and they were given low amounts of OZ, not enough to make them Norman Osborn powerful." He responded. "Well to finish, Kingsley began to form another cult, one of the men he managed to sucker in was a guy named Bart Hamilton."

"He used to work for Osborn, I was looking for him months ago," I interrupted.

"Well," Johnny continued, "Kingsley managed to get loads of information out of Hamilton, like Norman Osborn using the OZ to turn himself into the Green Goblin. Kingsley managed to manipulate Hamilton into getting the OZ formula. And you obviously know he did so. So for the last few years Kingsley has been using OZ as a way to build his cult with Hamilton as his right hand man."

"What does he want?" I asked.

"Don't know yet. Probably to rule the world." He responded.

I stood up from the bed and looked out the window, "We need to find him and find out what he wants," I said.

"I am way ahead of you," he said opening up the back pack.

I looked down and my breath was taken back. It was my costume but it was blue with a number 4 in the middle of the chest. I looked up at Johnny.

"We didn't have your color and..." He trailed off and then said," Who am I kidding, I talked to Sue and Ben, we want you on the Fantastic Four, please say yes."

I looked down at the costume and smiled, "Yes.

Johnny cheered in excitement.

I put on the costume to see if it fit, and it was perfect. It looked almost exactly the same as my last on only blue and with a 4 in the middle of the chest.

"How do you like it?" Johnny asked.

"Love it," I said.

I opened the window and shot out a web line, Johnny followed as I swung outside.


End file.
